Bum transformation

Tally ho, chums, I'm back from the watery graves of depression (sorry, been thinking about Pirates 3 far too much apparently). It's noon here and I just woke up to my mother calling me from work:

Mom: Hey, how are you?
Me: Fine, how are you?
Mom: (pause) Good. What are you doing?
Me: (pausing to ponder whether I should lie or not) Um, just woke up actually.
Mom: (sigh) CC, you need to find a second job.
Me: I know.
Mom: I mean, every day you sit around the house is a day you could be working. Get up, be aggressive. I expect a full report when I come home.
Me: (begrudgingly, rolling out of bed) yeah, yeah.
Mom: Good, love you, bye!

Eh. I feel like a bum. Which is funny because I already have a job, I just don't start it till next week. So it's not like I'm mooching off of them forever. BUT, in CC land, you need to at have two part-time jobs or 1 full time or else you'll get deported. It's also funny because I'm the one who's usually up in arms about having 2 jobs, not them. I think I've raised the bar far too high for my parents.

In other news, I talked to my best friend (the only one I could call a best friend) that I've known since 4th grade. She brought me up to date with who's gay, pregnant, a drug dealer, etc. I ended up asking her for advice about a friend:

Backstory:

My friend and I were good friends throughout high school. We had strict ass parents and neither one of us could go anywhere, so we leaned on each other for support. When we got out of high school, I suddenly had a boyfriend (Boyfriend) and as the story goes, I sort of ditched everyone I hung out with in order to be with him. Not that he was forcing me or anything, but of course when you find a new guy you're madly in love with and all of the feelings are new, blah blah blah, everyone else kind of takes a seat in the background. My friend found a new crowd to hang with at her school and we went our separate ways.

During our last winter break, I noticed that I hadn't seen her in a while, and decided to call. We hung out, but it was extremely weird (for me, at least) because we had both changed. And she wasn't all that recepetive towards me anyway. However, like my best friend mentioned above, I'm a strong believer in the whole "keeping-in-touch-forever" type of thing, and so I still called her occasionally. Eventually, after it bothered me enough, I apologized and tried to make things right. But it still wasn't there.

Present Day:

I called her and we chatted for a few minutes, both making promises to see each other before the summer was out. But I could tell she wasn't going to break her neck to hang out with me and vice versus. I felt kind of bad, because if I hadn't of ditched her for Boyfriend, maybe we still would've been as close as we were a couple of years ago. I asked my best friend about it and she told me to apologize again (I have a hard time apologizing to people, I'm a taurus, so stubborn is in my nature), and be done with it. "People change, CC" she said. "That's what growing old is all about."

I talked to Boyfriend about it as well, and he agreed. "Let it go," he said. "You can't be friends with everyone forever."

But still, after that good advice, it still bothers me. Is it because I'm that guilty? That it's hard for me to swallow that I screwed someone else over for a good time? I'd never done that before and never have after her, but that doesn't matter. The fact is the damage is done. Does that make me a bad friend? Person? Even though I'm still upset that we're not close, what's done is done and I won't try to go out of my way to be friends with her again. I guess I can chalk that up to a lesson learned.