I'm back....for good

Yep, I'm back. I've got a new job, so in a few short weeks I won't be dealing with the self-absorbed little freaks that consider themselves adults. I'll be dealing with (hopefully) more mature, considerate and intelligent adults who are actually paying bills and having a meaningful life.


Happy? Yes.


Bitter? Hell yes.


But I digress. I'm back for good. Now that I won't have the strict rules hanging over my head, I can write freely again. Please believe I enjoyed it. I'm not going to take up a whole blog filling you in on the Boyfriend, his pyschotic parents, my parents and all that jazz. That's too boring for even I to write. Instead, let's talk sex.

Penises, more specifically. After watching a glorious season of Sex and the City, I decided I wasn't sexually experienced enough. I didn't know a thing about penises. I mean, I know they come in different sizes, they hang differently, different colors, etc. But I've only seen two in my life. One of those penises now currently enjoys other penises, and the other's is Boyfriend's. So, what exactly am I missing out on? Are there actually bigger penises (in real life, not pornos) that surpass Boyfriend?


I did what any normal woman alone on a Saturday night would do. I Googled it. And came across this. On page 1, I was amused and satisfied. On page 2, I was disturbed. By page 3, I was seriously considering being a lesbian. Yuck. I, for one, have always scoffed at women who complain about penises being ugly....one can't help but wonder, what the hell do you think your vagina looks like? But, I was too through after seeing all of that dick. There's not enough wine in the world....