The "Perks" of Having Breasts....

...are too many to name. Now that the winter season is over and it's time for women and men alike to start showing skin, my twin joys have been getting more and more attention from the opposite sex. It's not like I even attempt to draw attention though--honestly. I'll wear modest shirts, that don't expose more than my collar bone (just like mother taught me), and those two divas will just grab a man's eye path. But I've discovered something:


When in a man's world, it's better to walk softly and carry big tits.


They're usually in the way--my breasts, not men. Well, maybe men too. Seriously, they're flubbing around when you're working, complaining when you're in a bra for 12 hours....they're two lives of their own. However, they're here. And so I might as well come to terms with them.


In the last 24 hours I've received more free food than I care to share. Just from wearing a shirt that shows cleavage. For a broke college student, this is a golden find. Men are polite for no particular reason. I can be a spoiled brat and get along just fine--they'll look the other way (or rather down).

So does this mean I'm slutty? The girl who wears sweaters and jeans in the summer, has only had one partner in her lifetime (and is still with him) and prefers watching Ugly Betty than casual dating? To women, yes. Because I'm exploiting what I've become aware many women don't have. And that means war in Woman Land. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. If this means letting the goods get a little air every now and then, well so be it. I'm off to eat my free lunch....