Saved Sinners, Pt. 3

Okay, sorry for the delay in the third Saved Sinners episode.

As I was saying, they successfully fucked with my peace of mind. The next day, I woke up, went to my 9 a.m. class, barely concentrated (it felt like I floated through it) and then went to the Union and sat down. I couldn't figure out why in the hell I had so much time on my hands. Shrugging it off, I went back to my dorms and caught up on some much need sleep. Later on that day, I went to another class and then went to the office to use the printer. My boss comes out, and looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Hey College Chronicler," she says, staring, "is everything okay?"
"Huh?" I asked, confused. Damn, did everyone know that I had been royally screwed?
"Yeah...you didn't show up for work today and you didn't call..." She looked at me expectantly.
"What are you talking about?," I said, genuinely confused. "Today's Thursday and...." My sentenced died in the Land of Duh. During all of that free time I had slept through, I was supposed to be at work! "OH MY GOD!!!" I exclaimed. I actually think I frightened my hard-core boss. I was blown the fuck away! I, College Chronicler, had forgotten to go to work. That is some shit that doesn't even happen to the black people I know. Forgetting to go to work is like....something you would see in a movie or something, but I don't know 1 person from the Motherland that has forgotten to get to work...it's like a sin or something. Ahhhh!!!

After I had a pyschotic episode in the office (my boss slowly began to back away) I raced home and called my grandmother (who, by the way, is cool as hell). She, too, was shocked that I had FORGOTTEN to go to work, but she also thought it was funny as hell. I was not amused. Yes, these girls had disappointed me, hurt my feelings, ect. That's all fine and dandy. But they had fucked with my money! While I screamed and ranted to no one in particular, I received a text message from Instigator. Just to let you know, we'll be meeting in the lobby at such and such time. What? They still thought that I was going to the damn party with them? I text her back, Thanks, but I won't be able to make it. She sent me one back, Okay...

I took a deep breath and began to meditate. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was another black girl, a friend of ours.

Friend: Why you ain't going to the party tomorrow?
Me: Because me and the other girls had a disagreement.
Friend: What disagreement?
Me: They apparently have a clique, and I'm not willing to be apart of one, so I'm not going to go.

Now Readers, instinct told me that girls run in packs. Kind of like dogs. And we like drama. So, I was going to watch what I said. They were the enemy, and I wasn't going to give them anything to turn it around.

I added as cheerfully as I could muster: Hope there's no hard feelings, though. You guys have a good time.
Friend (sighing): Alright, well...don't be a stranger.
Me (fake laughing): I won't, promise.


Like clockwork, about 10 minutes later, Instigator, Bible Thumper, and Attitude were knocking at my door. Apparently, the good ole Friend had me on speaker phone (without me knowing).

Attitude: Hey, I heard what you said and I just wanted to apologize.

That's right, Readers, they began to apologize. The excuses ranged from "No, no, we really don't want to think of ourselves as a clique" to teary-eyed Bible Thumper's "Honestly, I don't want to lose any friends over something like this...". I listened, nodded when appropriate, and allowed them to feel like they were making a difference. But in my mind, they had been reduced to acquaintances. People that I spoke to in passing (and later on, participated in some of my film assignments). I had no more love for them. After all, Mama always said, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

The Saved Sinners, Pt. 2

As I was saying before, they only wanted to roast me in person.

I met up with them in the lobby of our dorms and we laughed, played nice and made our way to the mall. Our mission was to find skanky outfits for a major party that was happening the next night. During the bus trip there, I sat quietly and listened to them giggle and talk about this and that (complete nonsense), not wanting to disrupt the peace I had created. At the mall, Ms. Attitude put on her Ms. America smile and helped me piece together something scandalous, us laughing and her taking time out of her shopping.

Then we split up and Denouncer, Instigator and I went bra shopping. All in all, we were all having a great time. On the way back, the girls all sat to one side of the bus and I sat on the other. I don't know how we even got on the subject of my picture, but sure enough, we did and I was once again defending myself.

"Hey, I just want to know, is you gay or what?" Instigator asked, her eyebrows raised.
"No, I'm not gay," I laughed it off. They kept firing questions at me, and finally I snapped, "You know what? Y'all are being very childish and petty right now!"

Readers, they had the nerve to look surprised, like "Who, me?!"!!! I watched in disbelief as they looked at me like I was crazy and Denouncer said, "Wait, you really think we're childish?" As if by some fucking chance another group of girls had appeared and I was talking about them. I stood my ground.

"Yeah, I do."
"But how? What makes us childish and petty?"
"This. This whole argument is very childish."
"But how does this make us petty?"
"By going back and forth about something that's as trivial as this, you become petty." She kept asking me the same thing and the more back and forth we went, the more irritated I became, and it was showing my voice. "And furthermore, what's this whole getting smart thing?"

"No one said you were getting smart!" Denouncer and the rest of the girls said.
I pointed to Ms. Attitude. "She did yesterday--"
"--wait a minute now!" Attitude interrupted me, yelling. "All I said was that you could have just answered the question instead of catching an attitude with me!"

I shook my head and looked at her like she had lost her damn mind. "Attitude, we were on A-I-M!!! How would you know if I was getting an attitude with you?!" My voice was raised now, and we were both yelling.

"That is a good point," Instigator said, popping her gum, "sometimes things seem different online."

Readers, NO SHIT!!! Everyone who has ever typed out a sentence online should know that, right?

"My point is," I said, trying to control my voice (it was now beginning to shake with anger), "when I wrote, 'You need to get a man' on Facebook I added 'LOL' to show that I didn't have hard feelings--"

"--NAW!!!" they all cried at once, shaking their heads. "You were catching an attitude!"

"Oh my GOD!!!" I yelled back. "Do you hear yourselves? Once again, how was I catching an attitude through Facebook?"

"See, you getting an attitude now," yelled Attitude.

"What?!" I yelled back, outraged. I wasn't getting an attitude, I was wondering how the fuck these chicks made it to college! I mean, I'm all for Affirmative Action, but damn! The University couldn't do better than this?

"Yeah, you are," added Bible Thumper. The whole time she had been nodding her head and agreeing with her croonies. "I mean...it may not seem that way to you, but sometimes you say things that are not cool and it sounds like you're getting smart."

"Like when?" I asked, huffing.

It was obvious that they had been rehearsing this part, and these are the examples they gave me:

1) One day some girls (including the Saved Sinners) and I were supposed to be going to the mall.
About 15 of them were already in the lobby, waiting for me and a few others. As I walked up, I grinned at the sight: the lobby is mainly white and beige, and then you pan over to a huge group of color, ranging from various shades of browns. I said this as I walked up, laughing and they were confused but didn't seem offended. I just took it as a joke that went over their heads or something. No biggie. We went to the mall and had a good time, as planned.

"You see, no one thought that comment you made was funny," Denouncer said. Everyone looked at me pointedly, and I tried to explain what I meant by it.

"I wasn't trying to offend, I was just saying it was funny to see so much brown in the lobby."

2) The second example had to deal with the N-word. Apparently, they didn't appreciate it when I called them "Negroes". However, it was acceptable to use the infamous "nigger". Now, I'm an intellectual. And to me, and those of my friends that are on my level, the word "nigger" is highly offensive. I don't like it in rap music, I don't like it when people talk. "Negroes" on the other hand, was what African Americans were commonly called in the Civil Rights era. If you walk up to any black person today and ask them which is more offensive, "nigger" or "Negro", which one do you think they'd pick? The Saved Sinners, though, did not appreciate such history.

"I'm sorry, " Attitude said, "I just don't want to be called a 'negro'." The rest agreed with her. "I hear enough about the color of my skin and don't want to hear that!"

Everyone was bobbing their heads up and down.

Disgusted, I shrugged. "Okay, that's fine. From now on, I won't make jokes about us being black and I won't call you 'negroes'. That's fine. Is there anything else that upsets you?" They listed off a few more things, most reverting back to the way I "sound like I'm getting smart with them". I nodded, just through with the whole thing. While they were talking, I was thinking, This is some bullshit on rye bread. What...the...fuck...is...wrong...with...these....bitches? Is it me? Do I attract ignorance like this with a big sign on my forehead?

I tried to mention something that was bothering me. "Attitude, I can't even say something or make a point without you yelling or jumping down my throat." I said it in a calm voice, knowing she would blow up, and hoping to put emphasis on my point.

Like clockwork, she snapped, "I do not get an attitude, I'm just saying!" Oh, sister girl was working some serious pissed-off vibes and the rest didn't seem bothered by it. She began the trademark angry black woman prayer. "Loooorrrdd, just let me get off this bus, please before I hurt somebody's feelings..."

We all quieted down, each in our own thoughts.

Now that they were satisfied with grilling me, we all went to another friend's room and they sat and chat. I didn't open my mouth the whole time and wouldn't sit down. Not only was I pissed off beyond what I'd thought I would ever be, the hurt was beginning to seep down as well. These were supposed to be my girls, my sistas. And they didn't know shit from the toilet. They were immature, and even worse, stupid. I felt let down in a way, as if I had been subjected to the highest betrayal.

I think out of all of them, Bible Thumper knew deep down she was wrong. I kept meeting her eyes across the room, and they were projecting a subtle apology. Attitude had the nerve to ask, "Did you want to sit down?" in a not too friendly way, after I had been standing for about 30 minutes. I shook my head with a thin smile and kept to myself. Even now, I wonder why I didn't leave. I think it was pride, I wasn't going to show complete defeat until I was back in my own room with the door closed and locked.

We left later on that night, and went our separate ways. I gave dry "goodbyes" and went to my room. My heart was hurting at this point. I climbed in bed, called Boyfriend, cried to him until I fell asleep. But the ripples of something like that go far and wide. And so the story doesn't end here. Tomorrow I'll tell you how the after effects were fucking with my peace of mind....

Alkie Attack Pt. 2

Last time on Alkie Attack......

"Well, that's just rude." Her sister ignored her and suddenly, I became the secret enemy.


We finally ended up leaving (with me still hanging on to that SAME cup mind you) and went over to IT's friend's house for even more drinking and a "dance party". Once we got there, the sister opened up her bottle of Parot Bay and Snapple, and PG started taking shots from the bottle with her. I joined in a couple of times (honestly, I was just taking sips....I can't take big doses of any type of booze) while IT watched me from the corner of her eye. I didn't notice this, of course, because I was still having fun. Pictures were taken, pot was brought out, the whole shabang!

After moving around the party for a while, I saw IT standing against the fridge with one of her horny male friends dry humping her. She had taken personal responsibility of the UV and had it in her hand the WHOLE night. No big, right? BMW was also drinking with her, whenever the poor bottle was set down. I reached over for the bottle and IT moved her hand.

"Hey, can I have a sip?" I asked politely.


The sister noticed, yanked the bottle out of her hand and threw it into mine. IT said, with a fake smile, "Uh-oh, we just got robbed!" She took the bottle back, and me, still thinking this is all fun and games, asked, "Hey, do you mind if I have a sip?"

IT's classic response was, "Did you pay my sister?"

I was confused. "What?"

She looked me dead in the eye and said (with an attitude!), "How bout you try paying my sister first." And took another swig out of the bottle.

Readers, I don't know what happened. It probably was the previous drinking that had already made my blood a little warm, but it was her comment that made it boil. And I hate to act the stereotypical ghetto, but that part of me was large and in charge at that moment.

"What did you just say to me?" I asked, getting loud. She continued to talk to the Mr. Humper, now noticeably scared. I think she was surprised she just said that as well. But I wasn't going to let her get off easy. "I can't believe you just said some shit like that to me!"

By this time another guy had swapped out to hump her, and they were holding a drunken staring contest as she desperately tried to ignore me. I tapped Humper 2 on the shoulder and he broke his stare, and I said, "Excuse me, I have to speak with her..."

"No!" she said, still not looking at me and ran into the next room. Now my blood pressure had reached the ceiling and shot through it. I followed her and went off.

"Bitch, I can't BELIEVE you just said some shit like that to me when you're the biggest motherfuckin drunk out of all five of us! Fuck you!"

The rest of the alkies had that look, you know, the classic one white girls have when their black acquaintance gets pissed off. That Oh, my God, the wrath of the negro! look. Ugh. Anywho, I proceeded to curse her out and then went to attempt to cool off in the kitchen.

BMW had the nerve to waddle her ass in after me, bottle of UV and Snapple in tow, and say, "Here, just take it." As if I'm fucking robbing them or something, right?! I pushed the bottle away from her with a snort of disgust, saying, "No, fuck that, I'm done." And I was. I ended up having to curse IT out once more (she was attempting to talk shit right in front of me....once again, the ghetto side) and was standing out by the door in the cold, waiting for an invisible ride. One of IT's friends came out and attempted to talk me into coming back into the warmth and after a while I relented.

While this all went on, IT started to cry and I could hear the rest of the alkies consoling her. Finally, DD called a cab and the four of us, minus IT, went back to the dorms. I think PG was so scared that she slept in DD's room that night, and on the way back, no one said a word to me. But at least I knew who was loyal.

As I calmed down, I felt slightly bad for cursing her out. I ended up taping a $20 bill on her door with the note:

For the 1 1/2 cups of A. Mist and approximately 2 cups of Parot Bay

But any remorse I had evaporated as soon as I thought about how shady all of those girls were. So, I guess I felt bad for letting myself get in that situation when I knew better. What do you think?

Alkie Attack

For those who have decided to read on to the second post, you're probably sitting at your computer, sighing, and saying, "Why in the world would I want to read about her...?" Good Question. And I'm not really sure how to answer it.

For me, this is simply is a diary. As I stated in the last post, people are always bugging me to spill more when I do reveal what I'm thinking, and I just figured having a public blog would give me a chance to write/say it once and once only. :) Not that I don't love those who are interested in my life or anything...

I am 19 years of age and I go to college (University X will be its undercover name) to pursue a degree in Film. I live in the dorms, work in the office of the Film Program and complain during my leisure time. I like reading romance novels, long walks on the beach, the golden sunsets....just kidding. But honestly, how much more about me do you need to know in this post? All YOU need to know at this point is that we begin our journey dealing with the Alkies and their reign of drunken terrror.


Back history: I live with PG and IT in these jail cells of dorm rooms and Ms. IT usually drinks every night of the week. No lie. PG only drinks when she doesn't have homework or studying to do, so she downs her fire water at least 3 times a week. I, being the lightweight that I am, only drink on the weekends (or if I'm super stressed I'll have a glass during the week before bed) and can't handle more than two drinks. Result: Me never drinking with them unless I'm desperate. On Thursday, IT's older sister came by town (mind you, she's an alkie herself) and brought 2 big bottles of Arbor Mist, 1 bottle of Parot Bay, and 1 bottle of UV to town with her. While IT entertained her parents in her room next door, the sister dressed in PG and my room.

"God, I need a drink," she huffed, and cracked open the bottle of Arbor Mist. She offered PG one, who graciously took a cup, and then held the bottle over to me, who was watching with raised eyebrows.
"Well...." I started. I had told my boyfriend that I wasn't going to go out tonight, that I was just going to watch t.v. and bond with him over the phone after a long week of hard work. However, he was currently knocked out at his place, and I was feeling lonely. "I guess..." She poured me a cup and I sipped on it while PG downed it and then the sister took her share to the bathroom to drink while in the shower. By the time the sister got back, she had finished her cup and was pouring herself and PG another one. I was only half done.
"Might as well finish the bottle," she said, reaching over and filling my drink again. I slowly drank and laughed with the sister as IT walked in and surveyed the scene.

"You guys have already started drinking?," she asked, annoyed.
"Yeah, sorry," PG said, not sounding concerned at all. IT looked over at me with subtle disgust and said, "Why don't you come say hi to my parents?" Now folks, I had just woken up. My breath was kicking like Bruce Lee, my eyes were all crusty and I was not in a parent-greeting mood. My defense?

"Well, I've already met your mom," I squinted, hoping that would be enough. It wasn't.
"Come meet my dad."
"Okay, I'll be in there in a minute," I lied. She gave an irritated sigh and went back to the next room. Time to take a break and offer a little more back history:

PG and IT used to be BFFs at one point, but PG has a nasty habit of changing her best friends like she changes outfits. The results are the rest of the alkies going at each others throats because they're no longer in the loop. In IT's case, PG had to get rid of her because IT loves drinking and not paying, which is the #1 sin in college. I mean, this chick went through half a handle of Captain's once. She does not drink for fun. Result: If you have a bottle of liquor and you see IT coming, either hide it or run. Or both.

Back to the present:

We continued to drink and laugh and the rest of the alkies came by as well. I let my boyfriend know what my new plans were (he was slightly irritated but didn't make a stink) and changed into a party outfit. All the while hanging on to the SAME cup. In the meantime, the 2nd bottle of Arbor Mist had been popped open and drinks had been poured. Now, my roomie and her posse like to listen to music while they drink. If I by chance have my computer on and it's playing whatever I'm listening to, they'll decide that's not what they want to listen to and turn my computer down. Never fails. Quite personally, readers, I think that's rude. I mean, it is my room as well. I just never say anything.

Fortunately for me, the sister had a love of my future baby's daddy--Ludacris. She went to my computer (which has louder speakers) and turned on one of his hits and we started dancing, swooning, and swearing over him. IT came over, on schedule, and turned mine down to start listening to a sappy love song. The Sister looked at me:

"I know they didn't just turn our song down," she said. I nodded like an 8 year old who was about to watch his older brother get in trouble.
"They always do that to me," I said.
The sister pursed her lips and turned my computer up louder and the girls attention turned to us.
"Hey! We were listening to that song!" BMW complained.
"You guys always turn down my music when you're here," I countered.
"Yeah, who wants to listen to --- anyway?" The sister said, with a touch of "That's final" in her voice. The other alkies continued to glare at us as we bopped to Luda and finally IT snapped,
"Well, that's just rude." Her sister ignored her and suddenly, I became the secret enemy.