Mama's Boy

I had to go to the zoo today for an Anthropology class, so I tagged along with a classmate of mine who just happen to have her boyfriend and his car in her possession. It was fun--we saw almost all of the animals, took a train ride, bumped small kids off the carousel...the usual. But one thing I noticed was that Classmate kept treating her boyfriend like he was her kid. Their conversations went along the lines of:

Classmate: Oh my God, we have to go get your passport today--
Classmate's Boyfriend: --hey wanna go kayaking?
Classmate: No, you can and I'll watch. (few minutes and other conversation passes by) Look at you! You need to get a haircut....and highlights.....
CB: Yeah, yeah....
CB: Oh! Crap! I forgot to set up that appointment for you to pay that parking ticket and....


It's got to be annoying as hell. I have new found respect for my boyfriend, because I just know I've sounded like that. What is it about women that pulls out the mother/secretary role in us? Is it because that's how we show our affection? Or are we desperately trying to show that we are capable of being a wife someday....is that the ultimate goal?


Friend (who we will now appropriately call "Twin", see "Cut From the Same Cloth") split with her boyfriend of four years about six months ago. She sounded just like me when she would talk about him--he was more of her man child than anything. She still maintains that she was the best thing that's ever happened to him. Apparently, he wasn't romantic enough for her, so she did what any fiercely independent young woman of the 21st century would do...she started complaining. Months went by with no results, she began to get fed up (despite admitting that he just wasn't the overly romantic type) and started thinking about seeking comfort elsewhere. But first, she gave him long talks and ultimatums, just like I would.

He didn't seem too concerned and she finally decided to split up. It was a nasty breakup. The short and short of it is she wanted him, but not for who he was, but who she wanted him to be (sounds familiar?). And when he didn't change, she was appalled. All the guys said she was hot, she was smart, independent, going somewhere--what more could he want?! Between me and you, probably a break from all that bitching.

Twin's boyfriend admitted during their nasty breakup that he had fallen out of love with her--and that he'd been feeling that way for several months (ouch). He began smoking weed incessantly (something that, according to Twin, he'd always been strongly against) and doing his own thing. Twin was baffled (and hurt). How could he do this to her?

To be honest, I felt more sorry for her boyfriend than for Twin. Partly because I got to see how I interacted with my own boyfriend. And now I'm seeing this with Classmate. Basically it's a pattern. I wonder if I can break it? During our last (huge) argument, Boyfriend told me that he needed a girlfriend, not his mother. The more I pay attention to my girlfriends, the more I see his point. From now on, I'm going to try to be more relaxed and lay off of Boyfriend....let's see how it works.