Okay, click here for the link to pt. 1.
Note: Since it's been so long, I'm just going to post the Cliffnotes version...
I don't know how I finished work. I swam through it miraculously. When I made it home, I got myself together, and called him. Because it's been a while, I don't remember what our conversation went like, but the general idea idea was that he was frustrated because I was treating him like a son, and not like a boyfriend, and of course, I was frustrated because I felt like I couldn't trust him with ANYTHING that had a smidge of responsibility! We hashed it out for a while before coming to a truce:
Me: Do you think you could possibly be a little more responsible next time?
Boyfriend: Yeah, if you think you could not become my mother all the time....
Me (hesitantly): Yeah...I guess.....
Okay, okay, no one ever said I wasn't a control freak. I'm the eldest of three kids in my family and I always had a shit load of responsibility. Anyway, we got off the phone and I ran to my closest advisor when Boyfriend was acting an ass....my mother. Surprisingly, she agreed with him.
"CC," she sighed, "you can't mother him. He already has a mother, and he can't stand her! And here he is dating this girl that he's crazy about, and she's turning into his mother! You can drive a person away like that. You're going to have to trust him. Now, if you say, 'Boyfriend, could you do x-y-z' and he agrees and doesn't do it, then you can say 'okay, enough is enough' and start looking for someone else. But if he hasn't messed up yet, you can't blame him."
"Well, he did say that I can force him to do things on my time," I answered thoughtfully.
"Right," she agreed, "you can't. You're a control freak, we know this, but you're going to have to learn how to trust him and give him breathing room. Boyfriend is.....he grew up differently than you. He's trying to find his own way in becoming a young man and you've got to remember that."
Huh. As usual, good advice. About a week after we fought, he bought a plane ticket and I paid for the connecting bus tickets. I was happy, he was happy, and (surprise, surprise) the fighting stopped. But it didn't come to a sugary stop, you know, like one day I'm ready to kill him and the next I'm lovey-dovey....there were awkward days in between, no doubt. And we had a few mini-arguments in between that as well. But all in all, we're back on civil speaking terms with each other and our stress levels have dropped. So all is well.
Okay, I'm off to write an update post....you guys deserve it.
Monday, July 2, 2007
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4 comments:
Good! I'm glad it's working, for time being at least. Keep the faith. It'll all work out the way it's supposed to.
Some couples can never come back from a fight like that. At least you're taking it slowly and being realistic. Best of luck and I'm glad you're back.
bah men!!! read my blog you will understand lol
awww girl! i'm glad you two are going to try and work through it. we all have our faults. keep your chin up. <3
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